Making children the priority in co-parenting means building a partnership with your co-parent that is centered on your child’s well-being, not on past conflict or personal differences.

Decisions are made by asking “What benefits the child most?” rather than “What’s easiest for me?” or “What’s the most comfortable?” Be sure to focus on your child’s developmental level.

Use child-first language. Instead of “I want them for the holidays” try “What holiday plan will feel stable and enjoyable for the kids?”

Finally, protect your child from adult conflict. Don’t use your children as messengers or vent to them about the other parent. They deserve emotional peace.

In my past career as a teacher and principal, I can remember students often described their lives this way when co-parents made them a priority.

1. I can love both of my parents.
2. I feel safe.
3. My parents listen to me even though they’re not together.
4. I don’t have to worry.

I believe this emotional foundation is more important than a perfect schedule.

Vicki Marotz (Executive Director)