Most of the coparents I’ve worked with in mediation over the years seem to recognize the importance of traditions to their children. I hear that in discussions surrounding holiday placements, particularly Christmas.

And with good reason. Traditions provide meaningful values to children, including:

Sense of belonging and identity – Traditions help kids connect to their heritage. They learn who they are and a sense of wholeness, building confidence and emotional security.

Emotional stability and routine – Predictable traditions, like holiday rituals, give children structure. Consistency helps them feel safe, especially during stressful times.

Stronger bonds with parents – Shared activities create shared memories, encouraging quality family time and strengthening relationships.

Passing down values – Through traditions, children absorb values like gratitude, kindness and generosity. These become part of their lifelong character.

Creating happy memories – Treasured memories are created that children carry into their adulthood; later shaping how they build their own families.

Building skills and confidence – Participating in traditions – helping cook, decorate, and performing annual tasks – teach children responsibility, skills, and the joy of contributing.

I recently saw the importance of traditions firsthand within my own family. I had merely suggested we forego having our traditional evening appetizers as we exchange Christmas gifts. I thought a sit-down dinner beforehand might be nice. My adult children reacted as if I was presenting a family-destroying manifesto. “Your grandkids won’t like it either” was the other salvo. My wife stayed out of the line of fire and that tradition continues.

Cliff Bowers (Family Mediator)