Taking care of yourself during the holidays as a single parent or co-parent can be difficult.  The pressure to ‘do it all’ and provide your children with the perfect holiday season can be intense.  But setting holiday intentions can help you survive the holiday season. 

1.      Just as you would schedule your child’s Christmas concert, doctor appointment, you should schedule self-care time.  Block out a time, even if it’s 15 minutes, where you do something for you.  

2.      We all know that sweets and other snacks in the lunchroom can seem endless this time of year, and it’s okay to enjoy some.  Be mindful of food choices and try to make the most supportive decisions. 

3.      Setting real expectations of what you can do for the holidays avoids pressures of trying to make the moments perfect.  When the kids tear open all the presents on Christmas morning, it will be okay to leave it a mess for a while and soak in the experience.  

4.      Although you might seem like you are running around nonstop for the holidays, taking an intentional brisk walk can help uplift your mood.  

Incorporating some self-care practices into your routine can make the most of your holidays while taking care of your own health and happiness.

Written by: Tami Boye, Mediator and Board Member 

The holidays can bring up a lot of emotions for children and parents alike – excitement, stress, sadness, hope, and sometimes disappointment. Practicing empathy during this time doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs or agreeing with your co-parent. It simply means pausing long enough to consider how others may be experiencing the season, so you can respond thoughtfully rather than react in the moment.

From your child’s perspective, the holidays are about feeling connected, secure, and loved in a stable environment. Changes to routines, traditions, or schedules can feel much bigger to children than adults sometimes realize. Even when kids seem flexible, they may still be adjusting internally. Simple steps, like reassuring them it’s okay to miss the other parent, keeping familiar traditions when possible, and speaking neutrally about the other household, will help keep children out of adult conflict and free to have fun and enjoy the holidays.

From your co-parent’s perspective, the holidays may bring stress, loss, or pressure. They may be grieving traditions that have changed, feeling protective of their time with the children, or worried about being left out. Considering this doesn’t mean giving up your boundaries or tolerating unhealthy behavior. It can look like keeping communication respectful and focused on the children, and being flexible where possible, so adult conflict doesn’t spill over onto kids.

Empathy doesn’t solve everything, but it often softens tension and helps parents manage their own emotions during an already intense time. When parents lead with empathy, children are more likely to feel safe, supported, and less burdened by adult issues, even when circumstances aren’t perfect.

Empathy helps parents manage their own conflict – so children don’t have to carry it, especially during the holidays.

Anita Altman (Family Program Manager/Mediator)