Making children the priority in co-parenting means building a partnership with your co-parent that is centered on your child’s well-being, not on past conflict or personal differences.

Decisions are made by asking “What benefits the child most?” rather than “What’s easiest for me?” or “What’s the most comfortable?” Be sure to focus on your child’s developmental level.

Use child-first language. Instead of “I want them for the holidays” try “What holiday plan will feel stable and enjoyable for the kids?”

Finally, protect your child from adult conflict. Don’t use your children as messengers or vent to them about the other parent. They deserve emotional peace.

In my past career as a teacher and principal, I can remember students often described their lives this way when co-parents made them a priority.

1. I can love both of my parents.
2. I feel safe.
3. My parents listen to me even though they’re not together.
4. I don’t have to worry.

I believe this emotional foundation is more important than a perfect schedule.

Vicki Marotz (Executive Director)

The holiday season can be challenging for single parents and blended families, especially when balancing schedules, traditions, and emotions. To help families prepare, we asked our mediators to share their best tips for navigating this time of year and these guiding principles rose to the top.

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Put the Children First

The most important priority during holiday planning is always the children.

• Consider their feelings and needs.
• Avoid taking preferences personally—kids are often trying to manage complicated emotions.
• Involve older children in planning when appropriate.

Centering decisions around the children helps reduce conflict and creates a more positive holiday experience.

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Reduce Holiday Stress Through Early Planning

Clear, early communication is key to successful co-parenting during the holidays.

• Plan well in advance.
• Avoid last-minute schedule changes.
• Stay flexible and open to compromise.
• Create backup plans to reduce stress.

Consistent, respectful communication helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures smoother holiday transitions between homes.

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Honor Traditions—Old and New

Holidays are full of meaningful traditions for children.

• Respect existing traditions and memories.
• Acknowledge sentimental attachments.
• Create new traditions that build unity in blended families.

Balancing old and new traditions helps children feel secure and supported.

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Use Empathy and Practice Self-Care

Holiday co-parenting works best when both parents approach the season with empathy.

• Try to see the holidays from your child’s point of view.
• Take care of yourself so you can show up with patience and energy.

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Need Support? Mediation Can Help

If holiday planning brings conflict or communication challenges, our team at the Mediation Center of Greater Green Bay can help you create a child-focused holiday schedule that works for everyone. Mediation offers a calm, neutral space to build agreements that reduce stress and protect family relationships.